WALKING THE BEATEN PATH - “Walk a mile in my shoes!”

INTRO
By Author-LaVar "Mookie" Lard

I am tired of feeling sorry for myself for not living in sorrow and I am fed up of being alone because of being left out.”
- LaVar D. Lard

This road is long with many a winding turns, that lead us to who know where, who knows where. But I am strong, strong enough to carry him. He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother. He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.
- Author Unknown

The strength of the relationship between me and my line brother was unforgettable. Especially the night that I told him that I didn’t believe in God. I can remember the night like it was this very night. We were both sitting in his vehicle waiting for a Big Brother of ours to come out of an apartment where his girl had been staying. We waited for hours outside of this apartment building, just blocks away from where a young man had been shot just a week before. We weren’t too worried about that, because we had other things on our minds. Anyone who knows Evictus should know exactly what I’m talking about.

The night went on and we became tired of educating each other about the history of others and began to questions the history of each other. I wanted more than anything to be closer to this man. Even though by our appearance we had nothing in common. He was nearly a foot shorter than me. His complexion was that of the stereotypical African. Dark skinned, dry looking hair, and very animalistic features. Almost like a panther or a small ape. But he a was full bread American......African-American. He was telling me about his childhood and about the decisions he had made as a child and how he wouldn’t have been who is today if it weren’t for God. I looked at him in wonderment as to how God affected his life and to what extent. Though, instead of expanding on what he just said, he asked me “Now, are you a Christian?”

I paused then replied, “No.” I though that this was a good answer because it was honest and it left room for him to think that I was a believer in God, and that I may be of some other denomination other than Christian. But I guess that the word Christian wasn’t the title for a specific denomination, but meant that you believed in Christ, because he then turned and asked me another quesiton

“So you mean to tell me that you don’t believe in God?” He seemed puzzled and uncertain that that was the answer that I meant to give him. I knew I was caught. I just knew it. I felt like I was cornered into a room with four brick walls. There was no place to run.

I paused and thought about my answer because I hadn’t been asked this so directly before and I hadn’t had time to practice. Well, I guess I thought I could candy coat it. “Well, I do have some sense of higher beliefs, but I questions God’s existence“. He seemed appalled by my answer and sighed out loud as if he were saying to himself “what did this dumb ass fool just say?.” I didn’t know if I said something that was so deep that even he could relate or if I said something that totally didn’t make any sense.

That night seemed to go on forever and ever. He asked me every question in the book and I alluded more than half of them and answered the rest very honestly. The night got even more uncomfortable. We dropped our Big Brother off at his mother’s home where he invited us in and chatted with us a bit. I was very affluent with information and nonabrasive whenever the conversation got deep. But, we somehow had gotten on the subject of God. Suddenly I was knapping. Or at least it appeared so. I had to make them think that I was so out of it so quickly that I couldn’t grasp onto consciousness even when being nudged and bumped for a response. I strongly felt that my line brother knew that I was avoiding the issue, but had my back anyways. He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother. He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.